For the frequent flyer, business hotels are more than just crash pads. They’re conference call HQs, after-hours workspaces, and occasionally, sanctuaries from a brutal travel schedule.
But for all their polished branding and corporate charm, business hotels have a mischievous streak—quietly trolling their guests in ways that have become strangely universal.
Here are ten maddening quirks every travelling professional will recognise—and why, despite it all, we keep coming back for more.
The desk of doom
Strategically placed next to a wall or a window that doesn’t open. Sometimes directly under a flickering light. The ergonomics? Questionable. The productivity? Aspirational.
The battle of the pillows
A fluffy minefield. Some too soft, others with the density of a paving slab. That mythical ‘just right’ pillow? Only available via the elusive pillow menu—if you’re brave enough to request it.
The complicated coffee machine
You need caffeine. What you get is a cryptic machine with flashing lights and a pod system that requires a PhD. All before your 8am pitch meeting.
The light switch labyrinth
One switch turns on every light. Another triggers an ambient glow you’ll never be able to replicate. The bedside light? Controlled by a button suspiciously located at the entrance. Midnight illumination? Good luck.
The mini-bar trap
£8 for still water. £6 for a mini Toblerone. You’re outraged. And yet, at 11pm with jet lag and nothing but an in-room kettle for company… those cashews don’t stand a chance.
The wi-fi paradox
“Free high-speed Wi-Fi!” boasts the room brochure. Reality: a connection that gives vintage dial-up energy—minus the nostalgia. Video calls become performance art.
The climate control conundrum
Your choices: arctic blast or subtropical sauna. The ‘auto’ setting? Pure fiction. You fall asleep in spring, wake up in Siberia.
The great socket search
You’re in a four-star hotel with a £300-a-night room rate, and yet still crawling under the bedside table in search of a single plug.
The shower puzzle
Dual showerheads, five levers, one mystery. Cold water arrives instantly. Hot? Eventually. Possibly. Mastering it before your 7am breakfast? A victory.
The ceremonial pen and pad
A biro that’s out of ink and a pad too small for a shopping list. But it’s there, proudly perched like a relic of analogue business past.
So why do we keep returning?
Because these quirks—equal parts frustrating and oddly endearing—have become part of the business travel experience. They create shared stories. In-jokes. Small moments of levity on the road. And let’s be honest: there’s something undeniably comforting about that signature hotel bathrobe.
Business hotels may be trolling us… but they know we’ll be back. Probably next Tuesday.